Moving on down the road...

Soon Bek and Jacob will take the first step on a long and adventurous journey. Congratulations on your new house. God speed.

Yipee! Congratulations, Bek!

Jacob's giraffe

Jacob wanted a giraffe. This is what Herman came up with. He also wanted a zebra, but Herman said his rendering was so bad that Jacob threw it away.

One of a kind soup...

I have a friend. We've been friends since we were 19; that's 37 years, but who's counting? Herman and I wouldn't be married if I hadn't met her first. She set us up on a blind date.

Over the years we have helped each other through many rough patches. We've shared sorrows about our kids, husbands, losing our parents, divorces and on and on. We've attended weddings, funerals, graduations, birthday parties and exercise classes together. We've gone on more diets and self improvement programs than I care to remember. We've rocked and diapered each others babies, and scolded each others children. We've gotten pedicures, gone apple picking, taken our kids trick or treating together, and bided our time in hospital waiting rooms, waiting with bated breath for children and grandchildren to come into the world. Once we were even loaves of Wonder Bread together. We have called each other in the middle of the night to share our fears and joys. We have cheered each other on and cried for one another.

You don't make a friend like this over night. It takes years of simmering and slow cooking, with many additions over the years, until you have a soup that has layers and layers of subtle flavors. It is a soup that will comfort your soul, sustain your will to go on, and warm your heart when the cruel world has turned it cold. The aroma is so unique that it can never be duplicated by anyone else. Eventually the stew is so complex that even the chefs themselves no longer remember all the ingredients that made it what it has become. They could never give anyone else the recipe. It's a very rare thing, indeed, and everyone has to make their very own.

Most of the time during our lives, through some miracle, we have managed to only have one crisis at a time. She has one and then I have one. We have always had the time to devote to the other's crisis. This is not the case now. We are both going through a very difficult time. Life is hard for each of us right now. We will live through it and come out the other side, but life is more difficult now because we are not able to give each other the full time support that we usually do. We give each other a quick call or send an email, and then each of us goes about our day with the knowledge that we are in the thoughts of the other. That is the best we can do for each other right now.

Still, I know she's there and she knows I'm here.

Better days will come again.

Until then, I'm thinking of you.

As for anyone else who reads this today, I wish for you a soup with an aroma as sweet as mine.

As Alice once said.....

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date....but I have just enough time to write a short post.

Last night Patsy, Bek and Jacob came over for dinner. It was wonderful to see them. It has been far too long. Jacob and Herman were so happy to see each other.

Bek cooked dogs on the grill, and we had deviled eggs and baked beans that I made. We mostly just talked and watched a little television, but it was nice to be together again. Herman and I have truly missed our weekly dinners.

We love you guys.

Shout Out .....

A shout out to Christina, Donna, Patsy or Bek.....please try to leave a comment on this post. I've been told by others that they have experienced difficulty when attempting to publish comments on this blog. I think it has been corrected but I would like to test it. Thanks!

5 Questions to Ask on a Date

This is an article I found online. I thought someone might find it interesting.....no one that I know....no one in particular....no, no, no.....just anyone out there that may possibly, maybe, sort of be interested in this topic.

Brought to you by Ayren Jackson-Cannady Match.com!

Early date chit-chat can become so formulaic that you walk away knowing little more about a person than a few r?sum?-ready bullet points: where he grew up, where she went to school, for whom he toils to get his biweekly paycheck. "We tend to ask more questions about a car or house than about the person we are going out with and potentially entrusting our hearts with," says Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be. That's not to say your early get-togethers should be interrogation-quality, with blinding light bulb, two-way mirror and good-cop/bad-cop act. The trick is to ask questions that aren't too personal but that reveal not just your date's tastes but his or her values. What's the difference? Well, if you like Joni Mitchell and your date digs Ice-T, you may assume you?re not a match (different tastes)--unless you can discern that you're both compelled by politically-minded lyrics (similar values). So next time you've got silenc e to fill, ask one of these playful and engaging questions.

"What's your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie?"
Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. "Books, movies, and music all transmit powerful messages of hope or emotion," says Hogan. "If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world." But asking your date to name his or her favorite scene can help you distill what's important to him or her beyond just genre.

"What do you love about your job?"
The standard, "What do you do?" is a closed question that doesn't reveal much about a person other than their job title. But if you phrase the career question a bit differently, you can delve into your date's likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; see how he or she handles conflict; and find out how happy he or she is with life overall. Think about the different impressions you'll form if your date answers this question, "Knowing that I'm helping people fulfill their dream" versus "Deciding what to order for lunch"!

"What's your definition of a relationship?"
Granted, it takes a bit of build-up to ask this question (usually, once you begin discussing your dating histories, you can slip this one in), but it's worth asking. Does your date want to be wined and dined, or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? It's too soon to know this specific potential relationship will look like, but a question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs. "I like to ask this question early on because I've found that some women I've dated didn't know what they want out of our relationship," says Mario Webb of Ft. Walton Beach, FL. "They came into it just hoping things work out without telling me what they expect. Needless to say, things haven't worked out." And if your date's answer is outside the range of what you consider acceptable, you've saved yourself future heartbreak by finding out before you fall for him or her.

"If money were no object, what would you do with your life?"
This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date's hopes, dreams, and even their regrets--topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. The answers can range from a desire to travel to going back to school to learning how to play the violin. Two buttoned-up stockbrokers might discover they both share a secret longing to be athletes or a shared devotion to public service. Your date's response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

"Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?"
This fun question is great to ask when a date has gotten a little tense or quiet, because it reveals both details of your date?s history and his or her character. Just know that you may have to share an awkward experience first in order to make your date feel comfortable. "One of the great things is that our humanity is a bonding thing," says Hogan. "Our ability to laugh at ourselves is critical in a budding relationship." So make it clear that you're not looking for dirt on that plagiarism incident in 11th grade, but something goofy like the time you drove a golf cart into the water, installed a chandelier upside-down and so forth.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you'll gain valuable insights into your date--and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

Ayren Jackson-Cannady has written for Quick and Simple and Time Out New York.

Buddies

Jacob and Herman on Bek's birthday...

Thank you ~ Gracias ~ Tashakur ~ Arigato

I've been very blue lately. Bek called on Monday morning to ask how my dad and I were doing. Sometime during my story, I mentioned that I hadn't cleaned my house in over a month. When I arrived home that evening, my house was clean. Everything had been polished, mopped, washed, straightened, vacuumed. Even the bed linens had been washed and changed. What luxury! That had to be my favorite thing. Maria, Patsy and Bek had made everything nice again. There's nothing in the world like good friends. I wish I could say thank you in every language. I love you very much.