5 Questions to Ask on a Date

This is an article I found online. I thought someone might find it interesting.....no one that I know....no one in particular....no, no, no.....just anyone out there that may possibly, maybe, sort of be interested in this topic.

Brought to you by Ayren Jackson-Cannady Match.com!

Early date chit-chat can become so formulaic that you walk away knowing little more about a person than a few r?sum?-ready bullet points: where he grew up, where she went to school, for whom he toils to get his biweekly paycheck. "We tend to ask more questions about a car or house than about the person we are going out with and potentially entrusting our hearts with," says Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be. That's not to say your early get-togethers should be interrogation-quality, with blinding light bulb, two-way mirror and good-cop/bad-cop act. The trick is to ask questions that aren't too personal but that reveal not just your date's tastes but his or her values. What's the difference? Well, if you like Joni Mitchell and your date digs Ice-T, you may assume you?re not a match (different tastes)--unless you can discern that you're both compelled by politically-minded lyrics (similar values). So next time you've got silenc e to fill, ask one of these playful and engaging questions.

"What's your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie?"
Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. "Books, movies, and music all transmit powerful messages of hope or emotion," says Hogan. "If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world." But asking your date to name his or her favorite scene can help you distill what's important to him or her beyond just genre.

"What do you love about your job?"
The standard, "What do you do?" is a closed question that doesn't reveal much about a person other than their job title. But if you phrase the career question a bit differently, you can delve into your date's likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; see how he or she handles conflict; and find out how happy he or she is with life overall. Think about the different impressions you'll form if your date answers this question, "Knowing that I'm helping people fulfill their dream" versus "Deciding what to order for lunch"!

"What's your definition of a relationship?"
Granted, it takes a bit of build-up to ask this question (usually, once you begin discussing your dating histories, you can slip this one in), but it's worth asking. Does your date want to be wined and dined, or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? It's too soon to know this specific potential relationship will look like, but a question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs. "I like to ask this question early on because I've found that some women I've dated didn't know what they want out of our relationship," says Mario Webb of Ft. Walton Beach, FL. "They came into it just hoping things work out without telling me what they expect. Needless to say, things haven't worked out." And if your date's answer is outside the range of what you consider acceptable, you've saved yourself future heartbreak by finding out before you fall for him or her.

"If money were no object, what would you do with your life?"
This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date's hopes, dreams, and even their regrets--topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. The answers can range from a desire to travel to going back to school to learning how to play the violin. Two buttoned-up stockbrokers might discover they both share a secret longing to be athletes or a shared devotion to public service. Your date's response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

"Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?"
This fun question is great to ask when a date has gotten a little tense or quiet, because it reveals both details of your date?s history and his or her character. Just know that you may have to share an awkward experience first in order to make your date feel comfortable. "One of the great things is that our humanity is a bonding thing," says Hogan. "Our ability to laugh at ourselves is critical in a budding relationship." So make it clear that you're not looking for dirt on that plagiarism incident in 11th grade, but something goofy like the time you drove a golf cart into the water, installed a chandelier upside-down and so forth.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you'll gain valuable insights into your date--and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

Ayren Jackson-Cannady has written for Quick and Simple and Time Out New York.

How to kill a fly...

I always seem to have one lone fly in my kitchen, and he taunts me for hours on end. The story is always the same. First I spy the fly, usually trying to land on food that I'm preparing. I've read all those statistics about flies pooping every time they land. Yes, I'm sure they do because they get a lot of fiber from eating my fruit and veggies.

Anyway, I don't want them landing on my food so I always lean over and open the cabinet door under the kitchen sink, and reach in for the fly swatter. It never fails; as soon as I'm armed and ready to do battle the fly disappears every single time. I'm left standing there, swatter in hand, tense look across my brow, usually saying bad things under my breath, and feeling a bit like a girl at a school dance who has been ditched by her date for a prettier girl.

At this point I usually lay the swatter down in an easy to reach place, trying to fool the fly into thinking I've given up. This usually works but it takes a few minutes. You have to be patient. Eventually the little nasty winged germ carrier gets hungry and comes looking for my food again, but this time I'm ready. This must be what duck hunters feel like when they're waiting in the duck blind.

I slowly retrieve my swatter and standing far away from the fly so he won't see me, I raise the swatter into my best swatting position, and ever so slowly I begin to stalk the fly. I move in a stealth like manner across the room until I'm within striking distance, and remember, the swatter is already raised in the striking position. This is crucial because if he sees any movement he will skedaddle.

Once I've crept close enough I watch the fly as he rubs his two front feeler thingies together. *that's a technical term* When he has them off the ground and is rubbing them together, then and only then, with one swift stroke, I strike with the cunning, speed and force of a cobra.

Slam!

And that, ladies and gents, is how you kill a fly!

Fifth Disease

Jacob and Bek are visiting her dad in Iowa. They're having a great time. Big News! Jacob caught his very first fish. Bek took pictures and they will be posted as soon as I get my hands on them.

The other big news and not nearly as happy ~ Jacob has Fifth Disease. Rebekah had it when she was a little girl. It's a viral illness, and usually affects children between the ages of 5 and 15. Jacob is only 3. (early starter) It begins with a fever, headache and cold symptoms. A few days later a rash appears on the face. It's a very distinctive rash that looks as if the child has been slapped. The rash then moves to the trunk, arms and legs of the body. Most children recover quickly and with out any continuing problems.

I have another post to write about something funny that happened, but I have a lot to do today. First on my list, the grocery store. I'm off and running!

...and other creepy crawly things...

Above: A series of photos depicting the 10 day progression of the results of a bite from a brown recluse spider. In the last photo, after ten days, narcosis (flesh-rotting) is apparent. The bite of a Brown Recluse spider can result in a painful, gaping and gruesome wound. They can be found outside in places like wood piles, but they also have a proclivity for dry, warm hiding places: clothing, shoes, attics, bed linens, etc. Every bite does not cause such a dramatic result as seen above, but the potential is present. Even though the results may not be as dramatic or graphic, the tick (seen below) offers a much more widespread threat to our area. For more information click on the link below.

Brown Recluse Spider

Tick Season

Along with our delicious peach picking season, apple picking season, and pecan season, we have yet another season here in the South. Tick season. Yes, tick season is in full swing once again. I've never personally used the following method of tick removal, sent to me recently by my nephew's wife, but it sounds like it may be worth a try, however, the tweezers method is still recommended by experts. Use your own judgment.

Ticks are blood feeding external parasites of mammals, birds, and reptiles throughout the world, and they transmit the widest variety of pathogens of any blood sucking arthropod, including bacteria, rickettsiae, protozoa, and viruses.

Tick Removal:

This method works in those places where
it's sometimes difficult to get to with tweezers: between toes, in the middle of a head full of dark hair, etc.

Apply a small amount of liquid soap to a cotton ball. Cover the tick with the soap-soaked cotton ball and swab it for a few seconds (15-20), The tick will come out on it's own, and be stuck to the cotton ball when you lift it away.

Once removed consider keeping it in a tightly closed jar or taped to a piece of paper. You may need to show the tick to the doctor if you become ill from the tick bite.

What can I say.....I try to inform.