Moving on down the road...

Soon Bek and Jacob will take the first step on a long and adventurous journey. Congratulations on your new house. God speed.

Yipee! Congratulations, Bek!

Jacob's giraffe

Jacob wanted a giraffe. This is what Herman came up with. He also wanted a zebra, but Herman said his rendering was so bad that Jacob threw it away.

One of a kind soup...

I have a friend. We've been friends since we were 19; that's 37 years, but who's counting? Herman and I wouldn't be married if I hadn't met her first. She set us up on a blind date.

Over the years we have helped each other through many rough patches. We've shared sorrows about our kids, husbands, losing our parents, divorces and on and on. We've attended weddings, funerals, graduations, birthday parties and exercise classes together. We've gone on more diets and self improvement programs than I care to remember. We've rocked and diapered each others babies, and scolded each others children. We've gotten pedicures, gone apple picking, taken our kids trick or treating together, and bided our time in hospital waiting rooms, waiting with bated breath for children and grandchildren to come into the world. Once we were even loaves of Wonder Bread together. We have called each other in the middle of the night to share our fears and joys. We have cheered each other on and cried for one another.

You don't make a friend like this over night. It takes years of simmering and slow cooking, with many additions over the years, until you have a soup that has layers and layers of subtle flavors. It is a soup that will comfort your soul, sustain your will to go on, and warm your heart when the cruel world has turned it cold. The aroma is so unique that it can never be duplicated by anyone else. Eventually the stew is so complex that even the chefs themselves no longer remember all the ingredients that made it what it has become. They could never give anyone else the recipe. It's a very rare thing, indeed, and everyone has to make their very own.

Most of the time during our lives, through some miracle, we have managed to only have one crisis at a time. She has one and then I have one. We have always had the time to devote to the other's crisis. This is not the case now. We are both going through a very difficult time. Life is hard for each of us right now. We will live through it and come out the other side, but life is more difficult now because we are not able to give each other the full time support that we usually do. We give each other a quick call or send an email, and then each of us goes about our day with the knowledge that we are in the thoughts of the other. That is the best we can do for each other right now.

Still, I know she's there and she knows I'm here.

Better days will come again.

Until then, I'm thinking of you.

As for anyone else who reads this today, I wish for you a soup with an aroma as sweet as mine.

As Alice once said.....

I'm late, I'm late for a very important date....but I have just enough time to write a short post.

Last night Patsy, Bek and Jacob came over for dinner. It was wonderful to see them. It has been far too long. Jacob and Herman were so happy to see each other.

Bek cooked dogs on the grill, and we had deviled eggs and baked beans that I made. We mostly just talked and watched a little television, but it was nice to be together again. Herman and I have truly missed our weekly dinners.

We love you guys.

Shout Out .....

A shout out to Christina, Donna, Patsy or Bek.....please try to leave a comment on this post. I've been told by others that they have experienced difficulty when attempting to publish comments on this blog. I think it has been corrected but I would like to test it. Thanks!

5 Questions to Ask on a Date

This is an article I found online. I thought someone might find it interesting.....no one that I know....no one in particular....no, no, no.....just anyone out there that may possibly, maybe, sort of be interested in this topic.

Brought to you by Ayren Jackson-Cannady Match.com!

Early date chit-chat can become so formulaic that you walk away knowing little more about a person than a few r?sum?-ready bullet points: where he grew up, where she went to school, for whom he toils to get his biweekly paycheck. "We tend to ask more questions about a car or house than about the person we are going out with and potentially entrusting our hearts with," says Eve Hogan, author of Intellectual Foreplay: Questions for Lovers and Lovers-to-Be. That's not to say your early get-togethers should be interrogation-quality, with blinding light bulb, two-way mirror and good-cop/bad-cop act. The trick is to ask questions that aren't too personal but that reveal not just your date's tastes but his or her values. What's the difference? Well, if you like Joni Mitchell and your date digs Ice-T, you may assume you?re not a match (different tastes)--unless you can discern that you're both compelled by politically-minded lyrics (similar values). So next time you've got silenc e to fill, ask one of these playful and engaging questions.

"What's your favorite scene from your favorite book or movie?"
Talking about mass media and pop culture can clue you in to similar interests and worldviews. "Books, movies, and music all transmit powerful messages of hope or emotion," says Hogan. "If you have radically different preferences, there may be some fundamental differences between the way the two of you look at the world." But asking your date to name his or her favorite scene can help you distill what's important to him or her beyond just genre.

"What do you love about your job?"
The standard, "What do you do?" is a closed question that doesn't reveal much about a person other than their job title. But if you phrase the career question a bit differently, you can delve into your date's likes and dislikes; reveal his or her strengths; see how he or she handles conflict; and find out how happy he or she is with life overall. Think about the different impressions you'll form if your date answers this question, "Knowing that I'm helping people fulfill their dream" versus "Deciding what to order for lunch"!

"What's your definition of a relationship?"
Granted, it takes a bit of build-up to ask this question (usually, once you begin discussing your dating histories, you can slip this one in), but it's worth asking. Does your date want to be wined and dined, or are you both looking for a 50/50 relationship? It's too soon to know this specific potential relationship will look like, but a question like this lets you share your expectations and fundamental beliefs. "I like to ask this question early on because I've found that some women I've dated didn't know what they want out of our relationship," says Mario Webb of Ft. Walton Beach, FL. "They came into it just hoping things work out without telling me what they expect. Needless to say, things haven't worked out." And if your date's answer is outside the range of what you consider acceptable, you've saved yourself future heartbreak by finding out before you fall for him or her.

"If money were no object, what would you do with your life?"
This tried-and-true icebreaker showcases your date's hopes, dreams, and even their regrets--topics that often remain untouched by even serious romantic partners. The answers can range from a desire to travel to going back to school to learning how to play the violin. Two buttoned-up stockbrokers might discover they both share a secret longing to be athletes or a shared devotion to public service. Your date's response will help clue you in to common goals and interests that go beyond what you do on a day-to-day basis.

"Will you share an embarrassing moment with me?"
This fun question is great to ask when a date has gotten a little tense or quiet, because it reveals both details of your date?s history and his or her character. Just know that you may have to share an awkward experience first in order to make your date feel comfortable. "One of the great things is that our humanity is a bonding thing," says Hogan. "Our ability to laugh at ourselves is critical in a budding relationship." So make it clear that you're not looking for dirt on that plagiarism incident in 11th grade, but something goofy like the time you drove a golf cart into the water, installed a chandelier upside-down and so forth.

By asking these questions and considering the answers, you'll gain valuable insights into your date--and know whether the two of you are likely to click on future get-togethers.

Ayren Jackson-Cannady has written for Quick and Simple and Time Out New York.

Buddies

Jacob and Herman on Bek's birthday...

Thank you ~ Gracias ~ Tashakur ~ Arigato

I've been very blue lately. Bek called on Monday morning to ask how my dad and I were doing. Sometime during my story, I mentioned that I hadn't cleaned my house in over a month. When I arrived home that evening, my house was clean. Everything had been polished, mopped, washed, straightened, vacuumed. Even the bed linens had been washed and changed. What luxury! That had to be my favorite thing. Maria, Patsy and Bek had made everything nice again. There's nothing in the world like good friends. I wish I could say thank you in every language. I love you very much.

Jacob Turns Three

Photos of Jacob's Birthday Party....Finally!

Every birthday party has to have a birthday cake, but not every cake is as special as this one....

What's a birthday party without birthday presents?

...and more presents...

...and more presents.....

Where ya going, Jacob, and who is that guy in the cap and dark glasses???

A helping hand from Uncle Mike...

Pretty Donna and sweet, sweet baby Ellie...

.....And a good time was had by all...

Photos of the moment...

These were taken a few weeks ago but this is the first chance I've had to post themBaby Zack


Jacob and his little cousin, Zack.

Patsy's Diner...

My friend, Patsy, just bought a diner. It's on route 60 , on the way to Newport News from Richmond, Virginia. When the beach traffic on 64 east gets to be too much for you, jump over to route 60 and give it a try. She makes the best bacon and eggs and cheesy grits ever. Y'all come on down and try it out, ya hea?!

Spawn of who???

I only have time to post one photo this morning and I chose this one. Don't ask why?

You've come a long way, baby!

Happy Birthday Jacob. You are three today, and we knew you when...

The Back Forty...

Mom and Jacob on PopPop's back forty.

Moist

Can you tell how hot it was? The child is slick! Was it hot in Iowa? Yes!

Lean On Me...

Jacob with his grandpa in Iowa.

More Adventures In Iowa...

Well, there was green machinery everywhere out in Iowa. John Deer Country....that's what I'd call it. Jacob must have thought he'd died and gone to heaven when they went to the fair. He got to see a tractor pull with a big old tractor named ShagNasty. Now you know a place that names their tractors can't be all bad. Jacob loves green machinery, and in a land awash with giant sized machinery, he managed to find a little cart just his size.

You can't keep him away from the big stuff though. Jacob and big machinery are meant to go together... kind of like bread and butter, peaches and cream, Paris Hilton and the paparazzi. I know he was in heaven when he saw this bad boy. Maybe someday, Jacob....maybe someday. Little boys can dream!

Any tractor that needs a wheel this big qualifies as a big machine.


Jacob made friends at the zoo where he was allowed to feed the goats. This little guy seemed to like him. Finally, an animal that was just the right size.

I'm not sure who this guy was or where he was, but cool! Very cool!

"Hey, Ralph, have you seen that hare anywhere?"

"Sure, Gracie. All the time."

"Where, Ralph."

"Oh, hare, there, everywhere."


Jacob and his mom got to ride a camel named Choco at the zoo.

. Jacob got to ride two horses at the park. One was named Pokey and the other was named Candy. The one in the picture is Candy. Ride 'em, cowboy!


...and a trip to Iowa just wouldn't be complete without a trip to the rodeo. Look at all those white hats. That thar's how you can tell the good guys from the bad guys. This is a great shot, Bek. One of my favorites, I feel like I'm there with you guys. In Tombstone ~ As the sun slowly sets in the west ~ Wyatt Earp gathers his posse together, preparing to light out after his man. Can you pick out Doc Holliday? Luv it!

....and best of all....Jacob had a pretty girl to go on all these adventures with him. I ask ya, ain't she pretty now? Couldn't she just charm the husk right off the corn? Yep!

My, Oh My, Iowa!

Jacob and Bek went to Iowa to visit Bek's dad/Jacob's PopPop. They flew out of Reagan Airport on July 22 in a big airplane. Uncle Doug took them to the airport. It was the first time Jacob had ever flown. He talked about it for days before they left.

He had so very many small and big and large and huge adventures in this exotic, far away land, a land where corn grows in fields as far as the eye can see. A boy could get lost in there just as easily as the mall. Don't go too far, Jacob!

They had a birthday party for him and Emerson because he will turn 3 on August 3, and everybody knows a boy only turns 3 once in his lifetime.

He went fishing with his PopPop on a lake while he was in Iowa, and caught his first fish, but first he had to bait the hook. Hummm! A few night crawlers might be just the thing.

After being very patient the 'big one' finally bit, and Jacob was just the guy to reel him in. What a fine catch, Jacob!

Sometimes most of the fun of fishing is just sitting there with a buddy and talking 'bout life and stuff. Grandpa's are good at that.

Touchdown....

Bek and Jacob touched down on Virginia soil tonight after a week long visit with his PopPop. We arrived at the airport early, eager to see them, especially Ma'Maw.

They were very happy to be home again. The bird they flew in on had a tail like this one. When I was a kid my aunt used to tell me that if you could throw salt on a bird's tail you could catch him. I wonder what size salt shaker you would have to have to throw salt on this bird's tail.

Patsy and Herman perused a map of the airport, checking out all the restaurants and shops. It didn't do us any good. Everything was closed except Friday's. We ordered tea and water and waited. The waiter was not happy with us about that, and refused to take our money when we left. Oh, well!

Then we received a phone call from Bek telling us that the plane had landed and they would disembark in ten minutes. We walked down to wait where they would soon arrive, hardly able to stand the anticipation. We were dying to see them, each of us keeping our eyes on the exit, scanning each and every face, waiting to see the two precious faces that belonged to us......and finally.....there they were. The only two faces in a sea of faces that made our hearts go pitter patter. That first moment of eye contact after a seperation from those you love is simply delicious, even a short separation.

As they came closer, Jacob stretched out his arms and cried, Ma'Maw, Ma'Maw. Bek unbuckled his belt and freed him from the stroller. He literally flew into his Ma'Maw's arms and began to sob; he was so overwhelmed. She held him tightly and rubbed his back telling him of her deep and abiding love. When he finished loving on her, he reached for Herman and contentment slowly returned as we went down to baggage claim. As soon as Bek reclaimed her bag, right then and there she unzipped it and removed a long stuffed, fluffy, purple rattle snake named Orange. She said that Jacob had been asking for Orange for the past hour on the plane.

Herman carried him through the airport with Orange wrapped around his neck, and he was finally content and oh, so happy to be home and in the arms of those he loved. We got him situated in his car seat and began the drive home. For the first 45 minutes he regaled us with stories of his adventures in Iowa until he passed out from emotional and physical exhaustion. His stories were peppered with tall tales of creatures with exotic names like, Choco, Bingo, Poky, Candy and ShagNasty. The tales must wait for another day, but I can hardly stand the anticipation.

Life with Jacob continues. I can not offer any assurances about where it will lead, but I can promise that it will never be dull. Life was in black and white while he was away, but we have just been thrown back into living technicolor.

Oh, my God, we love that boy.


Welcome Home Bek and Jacob!