Monday, February 06, 2006

that man of mine.....

i never, and i mean never, weigh in after a night of sin such as i participated in last night. pizza, a beer (i only drink beer when i eat pizza) and two cinnamon sticks. (i only eat cinnamon sticks when i eat pizza) do you see a pattern forming here?

i heard herman moving around in the bathroom this morning. then i heard that noise the scales make as he dragged them away from the wall so he could step up on them without bumping his head into the wall. unbelieving, i said, "are you weighing?" he said, "yea." then i felt the pressure....peer pressure. he came out of the bathroom and positively flung the challenge at me, "i only gained a half pound, not bad, huh?"

don't you just hate men. they can lose weight so easily and gain it so slowly. the truth be known, this is only one of many things that i'm jealous of herman about. his ability to sleep anytime, anywhere is not the least of them. then there's that exercise thing. he looooves it. i haaaate it. but the quality he possesses, of which i'm most envious, is his ability to allow stress to roll off his back. like water droplets are repelled by the feathers on the back of a duck, herman's spirit repels sadness, stress and fear of the unknown. things have to be extremely bad in order to see herman sweat. i've only seen it a couple of times in over thirty-six years, and only i have ever seen it.

i'm married to a man that is water. he flows over and around the obstacle. he wears it down with time and he makes a new path when the old one is blocked. hmmmmmmmmm.

as i'm sure you've guessed, all this BS is to delay the inevitable. by now you know that after he challenged me i did the unthinkable. i got on the scale. i was not horrified. i only gained a half pound. i didn't think that was too bad.


i won't weigh again until sunday. by then my tiny obstacle will be in the past. i can see it now, in my minds eye, the water is flowing, flowing, flowing over it, around it, eroding it, dissolving it and washing away the fat. i'm visualizing it as i am writing this. hmmmmmmm. i'm feeling so very calm. hmmmmmmmmm.

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